Monday, June 30, 2014

Poem: No Time To Say Goodbye

No Time To Say Goodbye

By Joi Maree Flowers

And without warning it was over
And without saying goodbye she was of this world no more

Too young to fully live
Too young to prematurely die

The adolescent child taken away by the hands of infatuation
By an angered heart
And a jealous mind
Who felt that if he was without her
So should this world also be

Selfish bastard
Cold hearted sucka
Cruel murderer
To close the eyes of this beautiful soul to darkness forever

She
Given no chance to plead for her escape
Given no time to undo the decision to leave
That could have changed his mind

But how could she have known
Without being warned
And how could she have known
She would be caught off guard by a powerful blow

Her Mother and Father
So close to help
But too far away to know
As silence didn't alarm their ears to hear
The horror
The torture
The brutality
That battled their defeated daughter
A few blocks away from their front door

Until morning
When they arose to discover her absence
Then walked outside to see the yellow roped off street
Police cars
And ambulance
And made their way to the scene with troubled hearts
Only to discover the person covered with the white sheet
Was their child

A shot to her head and heart

Collapsed by shock and weakness
Defeated by death's resistance to revive her
As she had before then expired
As she had before then not known the coming of that nightmare

Their lives lost life
Their heart lost beats
Their words could only speak screams
And yell out cries of "why"

Wonders of "if only"
Angers of wanting to know "who did this"
Pleads for justice
Wishes for time reversal to change yesterday

But the nightmare was real
The end had happened
The last words of her saying "I love you" replayed in their ears
The last sight of her sent through their bodies frozen chills

They were forced to say goodbye
Without knowing she was leaving

They were forced to live life
Without the one whom they'd given life to

Friday, June 27, 2014

Poem: Do I Have To

Do I Have To

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I don't want to
So why should I

Smile in the faces of those
Who behind me whisper
Laugh
And point

Who in front of me force smiles
And pretend of me to like

Who in their minds
Wish it was them and not I

Who I in return
Don't have a kind word to them to say or write

But I was told by those like me
Even to my enemies be nice

Because after all...

Their my biggest fans

Monday, June 23, 2014

Poem: Waitin' On A Blessin'

Waitin' On A Blessin'

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Stressin'
Waitin' for a blessin'

No answers to my prayers received as of today
Hope strugglin' to hold on to faith

Constantly bein' tested
Battlin' temptation

Been so close to a dream
So close to the sky that I could touch a star
And then I blink
And again it seems I'm back to where I first started before

Gotten through some rough storms
Climbed some high mountains
Walked some bumpy roads
Mocked by jealousy's mouth

But after all that
It still seems that I haven't don't enough
Though I keep pushin' on
Even after hearing the word "No"

I grow impatient sometimes
To time

I grow restless sometimes
To drive

But I promise I won't let go
I promise I won't give up

Because He never gave up on me

And I know in this moment 

He's preparin' a blessin' that will rescue me

Friday, June 20, 2014

Poem: Done



Done

By: Joi Maree Flowers

What words can change what was already said
What can be done now that was never done before
Tomorrow is gone
And today arrived with change
Feelings once strong
Have been weakened by deception
And anger has made it impossible
To forgive

Too far gone to go back
As the road to return home is covered with dust

No need to say goodbye

It's already been said

Monday, June 16, 2014

Poem: Venting Session ( Father's Day)



Venting Session ( Father's Day)

By: Joi Maree Flowers

My first love should have been my Father
But instead was my Soul Mate

Left behind because I didn't fit into his time
Forgotten about when I should have been a constant reminder
About the blessing God sent to him through me

I felt alone at times
Worried that maybe it was me who caused the riff
Because maybe to him I was an inconvenience
Rather than a welcomed joy

But I grew and I lived
Without his presence
Though sometimes I cried at night because I knew others that were not without
That which I was
And became angered in moments when I thought of the reasons as to why he was absent which he gave to me
When I decided to reach out the hand to him he should have long ago extended to me
Only to receive a weak grip which only confirmed that his exit was a blessed received gift

And in return I tried to erase the few memories I once remembered of him in good times
1 or 2 but no more
Seeing that he didn't deserve any place in my thoughts

But it's hard to erase someone who could never be forgotten
Someone who should in essence be loved and held in a space a soul mate should only receive access to with his permission
Because the pedestal he would place me on would be too high to reach and see and guarded by ironed gates
Someone who should have attributed to my becoming of the woman I became without him


This Fatherless child who yearned for her Father to be her Father

Instead I received the blessing of "Father-Like" men who embraced me as their own
Those honored Men who taught me what he of my own blood line neglected to stay around to teach me

His Daughter

But that wasn't the way it was suppose to happen
But it did
And although the void of him in me remains
I am grateful for the blessings that God gave unto me in his absence

I am grateful that I became who I am by God's grace without the presence of him

Never looking for him in potential mates
Never carrying him in my baggage to unload his clothing onto someone I hoped to be him

Because truthfully they could never be

I am grateful that although I never learned how to love a man from him
God's destined plan sent me a man
Who I
Without hesitation
Gave the permission he should have given him to receive access to my heart

A Man who I have become one with
Am growing with
And enjoying life with
And am blessed to know that someday
He'll be the Father to our children that mine never was to me

He will be our Daughters first love

Not their Soul Mates



As mine was

And that alone rains peace upon me

Monday, June 9, 2014

Poem: A Reminder

A Reminder

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Sometimes
Best said through words
Written or spoken
Expressions of love
Reminding one
They have not been forgotten
With the passing of time
After roads filled with bumps and holes have been walked
After fallen tears have dried
After the thoughts of loneliness have crept into worried minds

That
Love is still alive

And
Its kiss that ignites the flame of desire
Once thought to be burned out

Is still felt like the first time