Poem: In Preparation

In Preparation

By: Joi Maree Brown

Goodbye was never said

To confirm our end

Only the ticking of time's ending drawing near to our final seconds together

We questioned not

Because we understood

The reason

That forever was never meant for us

Just the moments that we created with each other

And the lessons we learned 

That prepared us for 

The love destined for us to have 

With others

And not each other

Poem: Christmas Morning

Christmas Morning

By: Joi Maree Brown

Early sounds of laughter filled with joy

Surprised faces of little girls and boys

Admiration of Fathers and Mothers

As they watch their young open their gifts

Waffles

Eggs

Bacon

And grits

Breakfast is served

Prayer is said

Followed by

Amen

Songs of the season in recognition of this day

Play on the background

Moments captured by photographed

To be placed in memory's album

On this early

Christmas morning

Poem: The I That I Am

The I That I Am

By: Joi Maree Brown

I rise when uplifted

I fall when I break

I cry when I am hurt

I laugh when I am tickled

I live life

One day at a time

I plan for tomorrow

Even though into it I am not sure if I'll arrive

I thank my past

For delivering me to my present

I am thankful just to be

Anything else added I count it as a blessing

At times

I judge others

Although it's wrong

I criticize others

But hate when they criticize me

I am not perfect

So don't expect me to be

I am me

Not you nor they

And me

Is who I can only be

I despise liars

I really do

Although at times

I have been guilty of being one too

I like to help others

Without receiving a reward

My joy is in giving

And am content if my name to it is written as unknown

At times

I act on my heart

Instead of thinking with my mind

Which has cause me to get

Hurt

More than a few times

I love myself

Though it took some time

I truly do love me whether or not someone else does

I am becoming

As I have already been

Better than my yesterdays

A day away from my greatness

I am I

Poem: No Return Home Yet

No Return Home Yet

By: Joi Maree Brown

I want to go home

But it hasn't called me to come back

Been walking the same path

Back and forth

Forth and back

Looking

And

Searching

For the reason

Of the meaning

Of the purpose

Of why I first left

But it doesn't seem my way of thinking was correct at the time

When I made the choice to go

My way never seems to go right

I should have listened to that soft voice of reason

When it told me to be still

But instead I rebelled and moved

Now I'm stuck in the middle of the circle

I formed in my travels

And must stop and be still

And pray

As I am ready to now listen to God's Voice

And abide by His instructions

If it is not too late

For with His lead

Home won't seem so far away to return to

Poem: If Love Won't Hurt

If Love Won't Hurt

By: Joi Maree Brown

I would dive into its sea

If its waves don't throw me into the depth of its darkness 

I would eat of its fruit

If its sweet taste doesn't poison me

I would receive it without question

I would embrace it without hesitation

I would kiss it without worry

I would welcome it without reservation

I would love

Love

If I was promised it would not again break my heart

So I don't hate it in return

Poem: Overflow

Overflow

By: Joi Maree Brown

Our cup runneth over

When our faith is increased

Once our patience of waiting

Has been calmed by peace

We are blessed

Abundantly

Once out of our way we move

And allow God to take in our lives His rightful place

We receive confirmation

Of the fairness of favor

Bestowed upon us by

His perfect grace

And rewarded

Of our obedience to Him

With an overflowing of our cup

Its contents unable to be contained

What a blessing it is to receive

Poem: Only Love Left

Only Love Left

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I found out what love was

By extracting everything that it wasn't

The bad

The ugly

The pain

The hurt

The lust

The lies

Until all that was left

Was love

And it was everything I imagined it to be

Plus so much more

Beautiful

Happy

And

Peaceful

Mine

Poem: Purpose

Purpose

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I have held the hands of mine enemies in the circle of unity

I have looked into those

Green eyes of jealousy

But none have dare moved me

To fear them

But instead

Pushed me to become

Better than their views of me

The greatness of my destiny

My Purpose

Poem: To Pride I Say Goodbye

To Pride I Say Goodbye

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Dear pride,

You have held me back for far too long

From moving forward when I chose to embark on something new

From speaking up for myself when my voice needed to be heard

From apologizing for those things of wrong that were indeed my fault

From telling love that I loved it back after it told me first

Pride,

You made me believe your way was right

I gave you more attention than I should

I relied on you because you manipulated my conscience to believe that you were of some good

But no more will I salute you

Since revealed of your true intentions

Against me

Rather for me

And no more will I be an ally

To your ways

So to you

Dear pride,

I bid you

Adieu

Poem: Quickly Gone

Quickly Gone

By: Joi Maree Flowers

His vision was beautiful

However it wasn't one she shared with him

So she released his hand

And walked away

Before again he could call her name

Before again he could call her name

She didn't look back

Because it would only bring her back

So she quickened her pace

So he couldn't catch up to her race

Before he could touch her in the same manner of same

Before he could touch her in the way that would fall her back into his grace

She knew her decision was right

Although she felt to him she'd wronged

By quickly going

Until she was gone

As if it was never love

As if it was never love

But it was destined

For them to not be

To end before

It began

Before their life became a mistake

Before this exit became one too late to make

Photo courtesy of www.unexpressedthoughts.com

Poem: Nothingness

Nothingness

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Numb of love

Existing in life

Deprived of will power

A few reasons as to why

Rejection

Neglected

Forgotten

Shunned

By peers and enemies

Those names who have stopped calling hers

Left alone in darkness

Entrapped between four walls

Aging without growing

Blank pages of a story

Enough of nothing

Less of something

When the purpose of being

Should alone fill her cup to full

Yet her well is dry

And their is no reserved supply

She could be more

If only she desired to be

Better than her limitations

Greater than her agony

If only she saw herself

As being

More than the taunts

Of those haunted voices

A greater purpose

A greater power

She could rise into her light

To become

Something more

Than her black of

Nothing

Photo courtesy of blogbigtime.com

Poem: Say Those Words

Say Those Words

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Say you love me

After all its been 3 years

And more than enough time has passed

Where I am due to hear from your mouth those words

To know if what I feel is reciprocated

Say I'm your forever

After all time is continuously moving

And we have not parted down opposite paths yet

Where I am due to know if our journey will be shortened or lengthened

To know if what is now will last

Say I'm your Queen

After all I have been reigning along side you

And there has not been any objections to my position of power

Where I am due to know if this kingdom will stand

To know if our foundation will strengthen or collapse

Say that you love me

Or otherwise I'll cry

Poem: Only To Love

Only To Love

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I rose only to fall in love with you

Not to dance

Not to sing

Not to play

Not to be made an option for another's eye

But only to love you

Nothing more

Nothing less

But even this simple task

Has become hard to complete

As you excuse yourself from my calling

Whenever I speak your name

Is love so feared

That it would cause you to run away

Is love so bad

That you dare not befriend it

Awakened to receive you

Yet it remains abandoned

Shall I too abandon you

Shall I fear you also

When the day comes that sense is made of me

And you run to greet me

Will your name have been replaced

Because you waited to see me too late

This I do not know

But I hope it isn't the case

But the longer you wait

Lesser of me will lie in wait

So will you choose

To catch me today

Or again leave me in waiting

For my patience grows impatient

And my wait time becomes shortened

As I grow tired

And sleep nears closer to rest me

So will you choose

To catch me today

Or let me again close my eyes to darkness

And be awakened

By the kiss of another

Photo courtesy of www.flickr.com

Poem: Whisper

Whisper

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Waiting for the thunder to roar

Or the fire to ignite

An act of a miracle

Or a flash of lightning's strike

To be a sign

Of God's presence

In the midst

Of where we are at the moment we seek His instructions

But it is not in those moments

And not because of those happenings

That his nearness will be confirmed

But in the stillness of silence

When we least expect His presence

Like a cool breeze

On a Summer's night

That a soft voice

Will speak into our ears

In the tone of a whisper

And it will be

God

There

Shoulder to shoulder with us

Reminding us that

He was with us

And had always been

Closer than we thought

But we were too busy

Waiting on the loudness of His arrival

Not realizing all along

He was with us

By our side

Every step of our journey

Photo courtesy of www.relevantchildrensministry.com

Poem: Payback

Payback

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Still on her it lingered

The scent of sweat and regret

Of temptation's victory

A mix of musk, lavender, and guilt

The dark line crossed

Forbidden terrority entered

Last night

After hours

Into the unknown garden of lustful desire

They crept

Captivated by eyes

Introduced by smiles

Entertained by dance

Embraced by empty shot glasses

Finding their way to a hotel nearby

Room 189

Outside it hung a

"Do not disturb" sign

Loud moans

Grabbed waists

Penetrated anger

Released grudges

They swam in the waters of vengeful pleasures

After the moment which lasted a few hours passed

And he left her where they both laid

Without a word said

She was left alone to cope

With the mistake that was made

But indulged in intentionally

She

Scorned by the hurt her lover placed within her

But calling the name of a woman other than her

He

Awakened from the blindness of the deceit of his wife

Who entertained the face of lust many a nights

Both

Deciding that on this night

Payback would be their choice of strike

Suspects of revenge

Victims of pain

Given of themselves freely to the ways of convenience

In hopes of making their others of love hurt like they

Because love fucked them both over

Like a trick who got served but didn't pay

The hurt they received and hoped to returned

Left them without a win to brag about

Only into the same category of deceiver did they fall also into

As their significant others

Payback

Paid them back

With wages of burdens

Too heavy to carry

No better than their loves

No better persons themselves

Equally responsible for their wrongs

Equally the suspects they vowed to themselves pay back

Also

Photo courtesy of http://www.singleblackmale.org/

Poem: Inquired Minds

Inquired Minds

By: Joi Maree Flowers

When asked to retell

We are prompted to remember

Those things wished to be forgotten

But inquired minds

Will always remind

And there is no escape door to exit

Or no wall which behind it to hide

It's inevitable

That the past will be revisited

Without our planning to do so

But it doesn't have to be relived

As we are no longer who we were

But are who we are

Now

And we can not be judged

Or held accountable

For days which we forgave and were forgiven

And we can not be cast

Back into the darkness

Of times for which we found a way out of

Because inquired minds

Enjoy listening to the stories of closed books

Poem: A Blessing It Is

A Blessing It Is

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Such a blessing it is to be

Alive

And

Able

To be summoned again at dawns rising

To awake

And rise

Not held by sleep's drift

Into death's slumber

Such a blessing it is to be

Needed

And wanted

To complete an assignment by God

For his will

And purpose

As destiny would have it

Written before our knowing

Such a blessing it is to be

Seen

And received

As a blessing to someone in need

To aid

And help

As one neighbor

To another

Such a blessing it is to be

Chosen

And loved

By our Father above

To be given time

To continue in this life

To continue to live our purpose

Because it is not yet our time to die

Amen

Poem: Last To Be First

Last To Be First

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I was the one to love you first

But was last to receive it in return

For our luster lost it's shine

Before we could record the length of spent time

I was first to feel your wrath

Although I wasn't the enemy

Caught in your battle of whether or not

If to be with you I was worthy

Unmentioned in your play's leading role

The forgotten character of your story

I was the light you never saw

Only the darkness to remind you of your self misery

So why stay for the reason only of convenience

So why force each day if over is our season

We loved when it was fresh and new

But could not love enough to last for forever

Poem: As I Am

As I Am

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I am stronger than my weaknesses

Higher than my lows

Content on my being

And held captive not by my woes

I am originated from the Creator's design

Chiseled by His perfect hand

To look not like those around me

And dare not be reconstructed by the hands of man

I am the seed planted into the earth's soil

Nurtured by the water of prayer

And the radiance of hope's light

Blooming into the beautiful flower welcomed by the kiss of Spring's cool air

I am she who will conquer

I am she who will stand

Even if the only voice that acknowledges me is silent

And no applause comes from so-called supportive hands

I am the blues in the midnight hour

The tears that fill the rising river

The loneliness of rejected lust

That finds a smile upon dawn's enter

I am the girl who was

The woman that became

Never to before be the same

For change is what brought me to this day

I am who I am

Flawed and stained

Strengthened by my faults

Beautified by my name

Poem: Hallelujah

Hallelujah

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

I praise His name

The name spoken in prayer

Sung in song

Shouted out loud

Jesus

Such a precious name

The name I carry with me

The name I'm shielded by

The name that saved me

Jesus

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Amen

Poem: If You Will, Forgive Me

If You Will, Forgive Me

By: Joi Maree Flowers

For the days my presence was absent

For the schedule that never held a time slot for you to fit into

For the thoughts of you that went ignored

When an extended hand should have reached for you

Or a phone call should have been made

For the next times that turned into next times

For my ears that didn't listen

Because my mouth was quick to voice its opinion

For my eyes that only saw the outer

Because the inner I cared not to be introduced to

For my voice that should have spoken up and out

But instead let fear win the victory to silence it

For the brick wall that was built

That should have never separated us

For the loneliness you had to settle into

Because my company never joined you

For these and many more things

I apologize

And ask that you find it in your heart

And soul to forgive me

If you will