Poem: Hallelujah

Hallelujah

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

I praise His name

The name spoken in prayer

Sung in song

Shouted out loud

Jesus

Such a precious name

The name I carry with me

The name I'm shielded by

The name that saved me

Jesus

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Amen

Poem: If You Will, Forgive Me

If You Will, Forgive Me

By: Joi Maree Flowers

For the days my presence was absent

For the schedule that never held a time slot for you to fit into

For the thoughts of you that went ignored

When an extended hand should have reached for you

Or a phone call should have been made

For the next times that turned into next times

For my ears that didn't listen

Because my mouth was quick to voice its opinion

For my eyes that only saw the outer

Because the inner I cared not to be introduced to

For my voice that should have spoken up and out

But instead let fear win the victory to silence it

For the brick wall that was built

That should have never separated us

For the loneliness you had to settle into

Because my company never joined you

For these and many more things

I apologize

And ask that you find it in your heart

And soul to forgive me

If you will

Poem: Little Black Book Gone

Little Black Book Gone

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Little black book

Filled with thrills and smiles

Little black book

The cause of trouble and frowns

Little black book

Filled with so many names

Little black book

Numerical digits filled each page

Little black book

Of my little childish ways

Little black book

No longer of use to me in my adult age

Because I've found love

And his name and number needs no little black book to hold it

Poem: Too Soon To Weep

Too Soon To Weep

By: Joi Maree Flowers

She didn't get to see him graduate high school

Didn't get to see him grow to become a man

As she transitioned from physical

To spiritual

Before he received his Rights of Passage

Her son

Left in the world without her presence

With no hand to hold

No arms to run into

No kiss to be placed on his forehead

To comfort him

To assure him

That

All was well

And will be

As only a Mother's love

Her love

Could heal the pain he's been inflicted with

A pain that won't ever be healed

Only eased with the remembrance of happy moments made yesterday

That'll find its way every now and then to memory's slide show

But how can she comfort him now when

The pain is due to her early demise

A pain of knowing that the last time was indeed the last

And

When he goes to call her name

And realizes that she again will never answer

To his voice

His weakened heart will ache

And the pain will again become stronger

The pain of having to live without her

Becoming unbearable to bear

The will to move forward a struggle

Because the reason to is hard to find through the cloudy vision of his watery eyes

Asking God why

Why her

Why so soon

Without a proper goodbye to be said

Without a chance to see her smile again

Without a chance for her to say I love you

Again

Unable to catch all the tears that fall

Unable to find a smile in the pain

Unable to understand why

So soon her presence from his life was taken away

Poem: Flowers

Flowers

By: Joi Maree Flowers

For some

Flowers are given once they've left this earth

I'd rather receive mine while I'm still here

To smell their fragrance

And admire their beauty

And appreciate them as the gift

They were given to me as

And in return they

Those flowers

Will blush at my adoration of them

And we all will smile

Poem: Without HER

Without HER

By: Joi Maree Flowers

His dreams were revealed in detail

But it lacked one thing

HER

She was excluded from his destiny

His tomorrows

As he planned to walk without her hand in his

For his itinerary held no space for her time

To be included

The punches of hurt

Felt through each heartbeat

The sorrow from rejection

Displayed in each fallen tear

SHE cried

As SHE saw forever with him

As her destiny

Unlike his

Included him

SHE so wanted his words to be a script

Recited to her in a nightmare

But she was awake

And this scene was very real

And unlike fictional tales

There were no words to be said

No actions to be taken

No rewind button to undo

His decision

For his words were spoken

And ended by a period

And

SHE

Weakened by disappointment

Accepted his fate

And from him

Departed

Poem: No Going Home

No Going Home

By: Joi Maree Flowers

I am only a presence

Not belonging

To this place

Unrelated

To the people who pass me by outside

And wave

I wear the clothes

That fail to fit my frame

My mouth chews the food

That I did not intend to eat

At night my eyes close

But I can never sleep in this foreign bed

As this place is not home

Only a room that I can afford until my next big gig

Until opportunity comes calling my name

Again

But when that will be

I hope soon

As I have no desire

To return to the place of my parents

To face the eyes of failure

Poem: My Testimony

My Testimony

By: Joi Maree Flowers

Folks don't know why the tears stream down my cheeks

When I pray or hear his Praises sung through song

Because they know not my testimony

They just don't know

How good God has been to me

How he's blessed me

Saved me

Rescued me

Steered me in the direction of forward

And not back

I've witnessed his works

Not only in me

But in those around me

I've been talked about and cursed through words by those who wished my down fall

But by God's favor I never saw their feet when at my lowest

Because he stood me tall to look over their heads

He received me as I am

Knowing I was a sinner

A work in progress

I've arrived at the place of present not by my own travels

But by the guided steps of my Lord and Savior

Who before my knowing already paved the way for the road to lead me here

He is the reason I know what love it

Because I got out of my own way so he could open the door

So love could find its way to me

He is the reason why I no longer suffer from loneliness

Because when in the physical company of myself

I know that He is there right next to me

He is the reason why I no longer seek the validation of others

Because He opened mine eyes

To see the beauty that is me

I can go on and on

But the hour won't allow the space for the time

But for the rest of my life

I will thank Him

Through prayer

And I will Praise Him

In song

Because My God

Had been so good to me

And without Him

I would not be

Poem: Keep The Key

Keep The Key


By: Joi Maree Flowers

I won't return
So that means you can stay
It's better that I hold on not to these memories
In this house that I wish to no longer call home

For we are too far gone
To return to the days of good
To smile away the pain
To forgive those made mistakes

As the foundation built to be strong
Has weakened
And now threatens to collapse
If we both should stay

In this place where one of us does not belong

So I'll go
And leave for your next desire
My key
And maybe she can strengthen again
These four walls
That once held inside it a broken we